The 4 Stages of Workplace Relationships

What relationship growth taught me about people, culture, and compliance

The other day, after spending a few days just kind of staring at each other, my partner and I found ourselves in another one of our “US-sessments.” Somewhere between silence and stillness, she brought up a concept I hadn’t thought about in a while. The conversation started with something we’re both deeply aware of—those quiet signals that let us know communication is beginning to slip. She mentioned seeing something on social media about relationship stages, and it made her think of us. She named the stage she believes we’re in, and before long, we were unpacking the patterns. We landed on something familiar: many relationships begin to unravel in stage two. And if a couple makes it through that, stage three is where things either deepen or dissolve. It’s the uncomfortable, unfiltered season—the point where the masks come off and the real work begins. It’s where you’re invited to see yourself and your partner with clarity, and make an honest decision: can we grow from here, together?

Somewhere in that exchange, a familiar thread tugged at me—one I’ve seen unravel in boardrooms, break rooms, and team meetings alike.

Turns out, the office isn’t exempt from growing pains. Whether it’s employees, policies, or purpose—workplace relationships evolve, stretch, and sometimes crack under pressure. I’ve spent years helping organizations build better people practices and more resilient cultures, and here’s what I know: these relationships move through stages, too.

With employees. With values. With ever-evolving laws and expectations. And just like in relationships, there’s no fast-forwarding to the good part without stumbling through some growth in between.

So let’s talk about it—the four stages of workplace relationships—and what every leader, founder, or people-first professional should know about navigating them with clarity and care.

Stage 1: The Honeymoon

"We're so glad you're here!"

New hire, new energy. Everyone’s smiling on Zoom. HR’s onboarding email is practically a love letter. The culture slide deck is still shiny and aspirational.

At this stage:

• Employees are optimistic and eager to belong

• Leaders are hopeful and high on potential

• The handbook hasn’t been truly tested yet

The honeymoon isn’t built to last. It’s designed to open the door. The real relationship begins after the first deadline gets missed, a boundary is crossed, or someone asks a tough question. That’s when clarity gets real, and culture becomes a choice—not just a slide.

Stage 2: The Power Struggle

“This isn’t what I expected…”

This stage is where things get real. Misunderstandings arise. Values are tested. Policies are suddenly in conflict with practice. And people start to wonder if what they signed up for is what they’re experiencing.

In this stage:

• Employees may feel disillusioned or confused

• Managers are navigating performance issues and friction

• Legal and compliance teams start to notice risk points

This is also where people and culture work is most needed—and most avoided.

Conflict isn’t failure. It’s feedback. The organizations that thrive in the long run are the ones willing to sit in this stage, listen deeply, and course-correct with courage.

Stage 3: Stability

“This is who we really are. Can we grow from here?”

Now we’re in the meat of the relationship. The honeymoon’s over, but something more grounded is emerging.

Here, an organization starts to:

• Clarify its values and actually live them

• Align behavior with policy and policy with humanity

• Move from reactive fixes to intentional systems

It’s not always glamorous, but it’s real. Trust is rebuilt. Feedback loops are clearer. Compliance becomes less about liability and more about liberation—ensuring safety, equity, and sustainability for everyone involved.

Think of this as the foundation stage. The one that says: “We know who we are, we know where we stand, and we’re willing to get better—together.”

Stage 4: Commitment

“We’ve weathered the hard parts, and we still choose each other.”

This is the dream: not perfection, but alignment. By now:

• Employees feel empowered, seen, and safe

• Leaders have the emotional intelligence to lead people—not just processes

• Culture isn’t a buzzword, it’s a rhythm

And compliance? It’s baked in, not bolted on. Your policies reflect your values. Your systems adapt as laws change. You’ve created something sustainable—and you know how to protect it. Commitment isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s earned.

Notes from the field

People and Culture Lessons to Lead By

• Stages are normal. Stop trying to skip to commitment. Real culture needs room to evolve.

• The messy middle is where trust is built. Don’t avoid discomfort—use it to grow.

• Policies are relationship tools. When written and applied with intention, they don’t restrict—they protect.

• Compliance isn’t separate from culture. It is culture—codified, practiced, and pressure-tested.

• People work is relationship work. If you want lasting results, lead like the relationship matters.

From first-handbook startups to legacy teams rethinking what matters most—remember:

• You’re in a relationship—with your people, your promises, and the law.

• And like any relationship worth keeping, it’s not found—it’s built. Stage by stage.